Community

April 8, 2021

10 Steps to Being a Great Group Member

By Cheri Liefeld

As ministry leaders, we spend time training our group leaders and helping them succeed. But 90% of the group is made up of group members who are not leaders. Our small groups will only be as great as the people attending and their involvement. Have you ever wondered what it takes to be a great group member? Here are ten steps to being a great group member.

Communicate. Basic communication with your leader and your group. Respond when they reach out. Engage in group texts. Let them know you will be there, and if you have to miss, please let them know. They would rather have a heads up instead of a “no-show.”

Show Up. In my experience, only 1/3 of people who sign up for small groups make it to the first meeting. The others are missing out. Be the one that overcomes first-night jitters and joins. Then keep showing up. It is hard to fully experience the small group and build the relationships you desire if you attend sporadically. Fight the urge to stay home when you feel tired. Once you get there, you’ll be glad you did. Showing up is a simple key to success both in your group and your life.

Listen. Show your group you value them and want to get to know them by being present and actively listening. Yes, people overshare, but haven’t we all at some point? Fight the urge to look at your phone or drift off. Remember how you feel when someone is present and engaged as you talk. Listening is one way to honor your group. This creates a safe space for people to wrestle and grow in their faith.

Join the Conversation. We want to hear from you. This can be challenging for those who are shy or don’t have a friend in the group. Be courageous and share your thoughts. You have something important to contribute to the group. Nod your head, especially on Zoom groups, to show you are engaged and listening. Be willing to be vulnerable. When we can be ourselves, honestly share our struggles, and celebrate our wins, we grow closer to each other.

Do the work and be prepared. We all experience busy weeks, and there will be times we don’t complete the homework. Let that be the exception, but still show up. Honor your group by being prepared, ready to engage and contribute to the discussion. It can be discouraging for a leader to ask a question and be met with silence because no one read the book or watched the video. It’s like hosting a potluck, but only one guest brings a dish. Dinner isn’t quite the same. You get out of the group as much as you are willing to contribute.

Encourage others. We live in a challenging season; everyone could use a bit of encouragement. Affirm other’s contributions. Ask how they are doing. Follow up on a prior prayer request. Little acts of kindness tell others you value them, and that is how great friendships begin. Text someone in your group each week. Write a note of encouragement. Send someone money through Venmo for coffee. These gestures are contagious and will spur others on to do the same (Heb 10:24-25). You won’t regret it.

Serve Your Group. Offer to bring a meal when someone is sick. Reach out if someone is absent to see if they are ok. Invite someone to coffee to hear their story. The Bible says to outdo ourselves in honoring and loving others (Rom 12:9-10) and to serve others, faithfully using our God-given gifts (1 Pet 4:10).

Take Initiative. Offer to bring snacks or plan a social event for the group. Be courageous and pray at the end of the group. Ask how you can support your group leader. Offer to lead when they want to take a week off. This type of support is meaningful to your leader. When we take next steps, relationships start to grow.

Pray. Take time each week to pray for your group and your leaders. Pray over their requests and for their families. Ask God to bless your group and create community among you. One of my leaders said of their group members, “I love how they pray for each other and support each other on their own. It is so beautiful to see how they have a supportive community within the group.”

Which of these resonates most with you? Which would be an area of growth for you? Try one of these steps this week and see how it impacts your group.

Cheri Liefeld is the Director of Small Groups at Eastside Community Church in Anaheim, California. She was previously Director of Women’s Ministry at Mariners Church. She is a writer and loves to gather people around the table. You can read more at adventuresinthekitchen.com.

Group Answers Podcast

April 7, 2021

Group Answers Episode 199: Tips for Leaders: Leading Couples Groups

By Chris Surratt

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris kick off a new podcast series, Tips for Leaders, with tips on leading couples groups.

Episode Sponsor

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Group Leadership

April 2, 2021

Restarting Groups (and Lawnmowers)

By Ken Braddy

Tools. I love them.

If you want to make me happy, drop me off at a home improvement store for a few hours. I can walk up and down the aisles absolutely mesmerized by the myriad options to get any job done.

I must admit that I am not much of a handyman. That’s not to say that I can’t fix things, but normally it takes me longer because I never seem to have the right tools at hand. If I have the right tools, then inevitably I cannot locate them. Most of the time, though, I find myself making a run to the big box home improvement store to buy one or two specialized tools to complete a repair job at the house.

During this off season, my lawnmower decided to stop running. It wouldn’t start, no matter what I did. I kicked it. I ordered a tool to help me adjust a setting in the engine (I did it wrong and really messed it up). Do I throw it away, or do I look for some help? After trying every repair trick I knew to get it to restart, I decided to find some help. I found a repair shop, and the owner tuned my 10-year-old lawnmower. He replaced the oil and the blade, changed out the air filter, and replaced my old spark plug. He reset the engine to factory specs. Now she runs like a new mower! That may be the best $99 I’ve spent in a while.

Restarting Bible Study Groups

The church has a big job ahead of it this year. It’s time to begin the process of restarting Bible study groups for all ages. Like my old lawnmower, there is no need to toss out Sunday School (insert whatever name your church calls your Bible teaching ministry)—it probably just needs a quick tune-up. We want to be sure that our teaching ministries are running at peak efficiency. I needed some help because I lacked the right tools and know-how. When I found the right person, he solved my dilemma and now my lawnmower can provide service well into the future.

As we look at the needs of churches this year, Lifeway has developed a series of webinars to help churches of all types focus on some foundational principles. Think of this as giving you the right tools and information to help you tune up your church’s most important ministry. With a little effort, you can have it running like a top! Here is a quick look ahead at the upcoming webinars designed to help you restart your church’s teaching ministry this year (for a more complete look at these webinars, and to sign up, go to lifeway.com/restartgroups):

Breathing Life into Sunday School – There are 12 essentials that can help any Sunday School become healthier. Get your Sunday School off of life support and put it on the road to recovery.
Restarting Sunday School – During the first year of COVID, groups struggled to meet. As groups begin to regather, there are considerations for their successful relaunch.
How to Have all the Workers you Need – Never struggle to enlist group leaders after you learn a process for recruiting new leaders.
3 Roles for Guiding Groups – Teacher, Shepherd, and Leader—every group leader must embrace these important roles and balance them to create a healthy environment for the group’s members.
Leading Small Groups – Learn how to gather, lead, and multiply your small group.
Teaching with Style – Jesus was an expert in communicating His messages. Discover the eight learning approaches and how to use them to teach engaging Bible studies each week.
5 Steps for Building a Disciple–making Ministry – For over 100 years churches have used a simple formula for creating great groups and a strong disciple-making ministry. Do you know the steps to take in order to grow your Bible-teaching ministry?

This series of webinars will be offered on weekends, at night, and during the daytime. We tried our best to give you options because we know you need something flexible.

Don’t throw out Sunday School! Use these webinars to give you the tools to make it run like a new teaching ministry. COVID has created a hard year for the church. As we restart groups this year, let’s tune up the church’s most important ministry—its Bible study groups!

Group Answers Podcast

March 17, 2021

Group Answers Episode 196: Leading Your Group Through Seasons of Grief

By Chris Surratt

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris talk to Tyler Quillet about how lead your group well during seasons of grief.

Resources:

Blog Post

Yet: Embracing God’s Faithfulness in the Midst of Grief

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in Lifeway’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at Lifeway and author of Leading Small Groups

Group Leadership

March 11, 2021

Leading My Group Through Seasons of Grief

By Group Ministry

By Tyler Quillet

Grief is inevitable. Throughout life, we lose loved ones. It is a part of life that either pushes us closer to Christ, or drives us away from Him. Certainly, you will face grief as a group, if you haven’t already. This may be the loss of a group member, which you all grieve together, or maybe it is an individual or couple in the group who loses a loved one, and you walk that journey of grief alongside them. No matter the loss, it is great, and people in your group will be desperate for reminders of the hope that only Jesus can provide.

I don’t know about you, but when I am overwhelmed, stressed, or grieved I tend to have blinders on. I easily get uber-focused on the task or circumstances at hand, and have a hard time seeing anything outside of that. It’s a laser-focus, but not in a good way. And, when this happens, I don’t think things through, I don’t have clarity, and most importantly, I often don’t seek Jesus. I’m too sidetracked by what has me overwhelmed at that moment. Grief does this to many of us. There are constant thoughts of the person that we lost, the what-ifs of our own future, the empty hole that has been left in our lives, and so much more. Those thoughts tend to dominate our minds and keep our focus off of Christ.

As Christians, we desperately need one another to point to Jesus. Especially in times when we struggle to turn our own hearts to Him, it’s vitally important that we remind each other of who Jesus is. What an incredible opportunity we have to point those who are grieving to Jesus. This doesn’t have to be in a large group setting where the griever may feel “ganged up on.” Those who are grieving should be allowed to be there—grief is healthy and ok. Allow your people to grieve, but help them to trust in Jesus while they grieve. I believe doing both is not only possible, but also what God desires from our hearts. Grief is unhealthy without hope in Jesus, but it’s an amazing step of faith when we can say, “God, my heart is shattered, and yet, I trust in you.” So how do we help each other get to that place? What kind of reminders can we give those who are grieving so that they can take steps of trust as they grieve? Here are a few ideas:

Write a note to the grieving person. This is not to help them move beyond their grief, but to remind them of who God is as they grieve. Use simple words like, “I’m praying that God would overwhelm your heart with His peace as you trust Him in this time.” Remind them of His goodness by sharing scriptures like Psalm 34:18, Lamentations 3:21-23, Zephaniah 3:17, Isaiah 41:10, or Psalm 34:4-8, 17-18.
Send a simple text with one of the Scriptures above. Or, simply text, “Praying for you right now.” If you do this, actually spend time praying for them in that moment. Reminding them of God’s Word may prompt them to dig into that Scripture on their own.
Call them and simply ask if you can pray with them. Praying with someone is an incredible reminder of God’s faithful presence with them. Pray that their trust in Him would deepen, that He’d remind them of His goodness and faithfulness to them, and that they’d grow in their love for Him.
If/when this person is back in group, allow them opportunities to share their grieving heart. Don’t force them to share, but allow them to do so if they desire. Don’t use this time to try and “fix” anything about their grief, but speak truth and remind them of God’s goodness in response.
Be sure as a group that this person has relational outlets. They may be incredibly lonely, but not able to reach out to someone. Without forcing your presence on them, invite them to dinner, ask if you can bring over a meal, go on a walk, or invite them back to group if they haven’t returned yet. Use these moments with them to listen to their heart and respond with grace and truth.

Many who are grieving think, “Why me?”, “Where is God?”, “How could a good God allow this to happen?”, “What have I done to deserve this?” and more. Use every opportunity you have to speak the truth of God’s love for them, His faithfulness to them, His presence with them, His grieved heart over death, and most importantly, the hope that only Jesus Christ provides. As we continually point the grieving heart to Jesus, those blinders I spoke of earlier begin to come off. And, in the midst of grief, your group members will be able to remind themselves of God because you helped them to keep their eyes focused on Him on this journey.

While God will do the heart work in those who are broken and hurting, He is calling us to come alongside and point them to Him. Remind them of Him. Reassure them of Him. It’s all about Him, and while they may know this truth, they’re likely in a season of needing that reminder. I’m thankful that they have you to walk this journey alongside them.

Tyler Quillet is the team leader for the Custom Church Resources and Smallgroup.com team at Lifeway Christian Resources. He lives in the Nashville, Tenn. area with his incredible wife, Cathie, and two boys, Cylas and Bowen. Tyler is the author of Yet: Embracing God’s Faithfulness in the Midst of Grief. He also speaks, writes, and coaches alongside Cathie as they pour into and care for those battling infertility through Cathie’s, The Quillet Institute. Tyler previously spent 15 years as a pastor and is passionate about serving churches and pouring into church leaders in a variety of ways.

Group Answers Podcast, Uncategorized

March 10, 2021

Group Leadership

March 2, 2021

Eight Keys for Building a Community Culture

By Group Ministry

By Reid Smith

Culture is something you feel. Every group of people and organization has a distinct culture. It’s the water in which you swim when you’re hanging out in an environment or with a group of people. It’s what you experience through all your senses when you are gathered with others who are a part of it.

For example, you are experiencing more than just coffee when you sit inside a Starbucks. There is a culture that has been intentionally and artistically created to entice customers to return and build brand loyalty. Although our motivations differ, church leadership want people to return and consistently engage in their community life for infinitely more important reasons.

Pastors love it when people say their church feels like family. It’s always a win when folks say they feel like they belong and enjoy connecting with others each week. However, most leaders are not conscious about all the factors that make it that way. The DNA of culture must be deliberately molded, and just like a potter with clay, it is best to do this at the very beginning of a new work.

Regardless of where you would consider yourself in building a community culture in your church, here are eight keys I’ve discovered along the way that will help in this process:

Discern God’s plan for building community in your church and reaching your surrounding community with the power of the Good News. It’s safe to assume the Lord is already at work building His Church where you minister and your primary job is to figure out how that’s happening. Invariably, this will be through a community of two or more people pursuing Christ together. So how is God already moving in your midst to reach the lost?
Decide together with your core leadership team how everyone will prioritize community and relationship-building. How will each one live it and lead it? The involvement of pastoral leadership in a church’s community life is the linchpin to the ongoing growth of biblical community. There is no substitute for what the most influential and visible people in the church model and advocate, particularly on the weekend.
Don’t allow groups to be viewed as simply another ministry program/department of the church or to be perceived as something that “good Christians” do. A programmatic paradigm can be lethal to organic community. It is not groups that we’re after ultimately…it’s what happens in them. Biblical community empowers believers and churches to function as the Body of Christ should (Rom 12:4-5; 1 Cor 12:21-27).
Dedicate resources to building community. Invest time, energy, and money into the leaders and resources that serve as the life-source of community in your church. By virtue of resourcing this area of your church, you will be enhancing all areas. There is no short-cut to healthy ministry, which flows out of healthy relationships.
Discover who is gifted in communications and beat the drum of community every chance you get. You want to show and tell people what you believe about the importance of biblical community to their spiritual growth and well being. Use all forms of communication: platform, print, digital, visual, and stories to convey what God is doing through the community-life of your church.
Design a community-life calendar and include no less than three church-wide opportunities per year for people to get plugged in. Present new ways for people to get connected in new types of groups. Feature existing groups and new group start ups in your weekend announcements, website, social media platforms, slides, etc.
Determine that every event you host or program you run will be used as an opportunity to help people take their next step toward greater engagement in your church’s community life. Churches tend to pour a lot of time and energy into planning events while the next steps for people to take is an afterthought. Flip this. When events are built around a clear next step, more people are inspired to actually do something and you’ll see measurable fruit from your organized activities.
Devote yourself to building a community culture. The journey will be filled with successes and set-backs, but stay with it! Study churches that do this well and read books by leaders you respect who are community-building champions. Attend groups conferences in-person or online and include other staff and key volunteers. In other words, be a learner and bring others along with you. Never settle.

This is all worth doing wholeheartedly because healthy spiritual relationships are essential to having a growing relationship with Jesus Christ (Hebrews 10:24-25; 1 John 1:7, 3:14, 4:20). Furthermore, when spiritually lost people come to a loving community, they tend to come to Christ (Acts 2:47; John 13:34; 1 John 4:12). Building a community culture is not optional for a church that wants to advance God’s mission in the world and these keys will help you and your team in the process.

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He lives in Wellington, Florida where he serves as a Groups Pastor at Christ Fellowship. You can find more of his helpful resources at www.reidsmith.org.

Group Answers Podcast

February 10, 2021

Group Answers Episode 191: JT McCraw on Men’s Ministry

By Chris Surratt

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris sit down with Pastor JT McCraw to talk about the state of men’s ministry in today’s world.

JT is the co-host of the Renovating Masculinity podcast, a John Maxwell certified Life Coach & Speaker, an independent life coach with Stephen Mansfield’s GreatMan Coaching team, the Executive & Men’s pastor at Bethel World Outreach and is one of the leading men’s ministers in the United States. He has traveled around the globe teaching men what he learned during his dark days of personal crisis. He now coaches men and helps them build high quality noble manhood into their lives by drawing from his years as a successful custom builder.

Questions Discussed:

– What would you say is the most surprising thing you’ve learned on the Renovating Masculinity journey you started about a year ago now?

– As you engage men in various capacities, what are you learning about current and emerging crucial aspects of a man’s life and how to minister to men uniquely and specifically?

– Talk about the idea of band of brothers. Why is this important? What have you learned about developing this kind of relationship and what are the principles for fostering a sense of community within a group of men?

– Why does men’s ministry pose such a challenge within a church context?

– How is a gender-specific group different from a co-ed group? Why might this be more important for men than women?

– How are you defining “intentional awareness” and why have you adopted this term for men’s ministry?

Group Leadership

February 1, 2021

Leading My Group Through Seasons of Fear and Anxiety

By Group Ministry

By Tyler Quillet

2021 hasn’t changed too much from the 2020 that we experienced, has it? We continue to live with so many questions, so much heartache, and much trepidation. Between COVID and a heavily divided country, there’s a lot going on. So how do we respond to this in our group times and throughout the week as we engage with one another?

First, let’s address some of the fears that so many are facing:

Will I still have a job in six months?

Will I get COVID, and if so, what will happen to me?

What if one of my loved ones gets COVID?

What if the economy tanks?

I’m scared to go to _______ because I might get COVID.

How do I protect my family during this time?

What if the unrest in our nation gets worse?

This list could go on all day, but these are just a number of the questions that bring much fear and anxiety. Without a doubt, these are fears and anxieties that have set up shop in the minds of your group members. As leaders, friends, and those desiring to point people to Jesus, how do we help combat these thoughts alongside others?

Jesus spoke to this. He gives us HIS peace. While the world gives us fear, anxiety and trepidation, Jesus gives real peace. That doesn’t mean the circumstances change or there aren’t things that could go wrong, but it means that when we place our full trust in Him, His Spirit will overwhelm our hearts with HIS peace.

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.”

-John 14:27

Not only does Jesus give us His peace, but He asks us to lay before Him all that burdens our hearts. And, as we do this, His peace will guard our hearts and minds.

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

-Philippians 4:6-7

So how do we lead our groups with this in mind?

If you are an open and transparent group, sharing your deepest fears and anxieties won’t be difficult. If transparency is a difficult thing for your group members, this is a good starting point. Ask each person to share their real fears or anxieties when it comes to all that we are dealing with in the world today. Allow tears, allow hard questions, and also allow silence or even a desire not to share. That’s ok. As group members share, stop, and “through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Spend time going to Jesus on behalf of your group members. Don’t take their fears lightly. While some of these concerns may not seem like something that’s worth being fearful about to you, it may be a deep anxiety that someone else is battling. Run to Jesus on their behalf and pray for them often.

Several years ago, my wife and I were about to embark on an incredibly scary journey. It was a life transition that we were unsure of and it brought us much fear of the unknown. As we shared our deepest fears with our small group, one of our other leaders asked if they could all stand around us and pray. They took our requests to God and we were SO overwhelmed by God’s peace. I’ll never forget that moment when my “people” took so seriously the fears we had that they immediately ran to Jesus with them on our behalf. And God was faithful to grant us His peace.

As you move forward in life while also feeling “stuck” in difficult times, give your group members opportunities to pour out their fears. As they do so, go to the throne on their behalf. Purpose to continue to check in on their hearts after your formal group time has ended. Be sure to also allow time in your group for praise in how God has overwhelmed your hearts with His peace.

These are difficult days. Watch your group grow together as you share your fears, run to Jesus in trust, and praise Him for the peace of heart He gives.

Tyler Quillet is the discipleship strategist for the Custom Church Resources team at Lifeway Christian Resources. He lives in the Nashville, Tenn. area with his incredible wife, Cathie, and two boys, Cylas and Bowen. Tyler also speaks, writes, and coaches alongside Cathie as they pour into and care for those battling infertility through Cathie’s, The Quillet Institute. Tyler previously spent 15 years as a pastor and is passionate about serving churches and pouring into church leaders in a variety of ways.

Group Answers Podcast

January 27, 2021

Group Answers Episode 189: Jeff Martin on Leading a Volunteer Movement

By Group Ministry

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris talk to Jeff Martin about his new book, Empower: The 4 Keys to Leading a Volunteer Movement. In “Empower,” Jeff drills in to four key principles that can unlock a volunteer-led movement. They were unearthed from an event he founded in 2004 called “Fields of Faith” that focused on giving ordinary people the microphone. It has impacted and united millions of people, thousands of volunteers, and countless community organizations. Each year, over 250,000 people gather on one night in communities across the country.

Questions

What prompted you to write this book?
Who did you write it for?
What are some common mistakes that leaders of volunteers make?
What is holding back most volunteer-based ministries and organizations?
Does your book have any implications in the Covid era?

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