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Conversations on Group Practices

Group Leadership

Three Conversations to Activate Spiritual Gifts In Your Small Group

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By Reid Smith

We tend to think about spiritual gifts on an individual level, but it can’t stop there! Small groups offer the best environments for discovering how the Lord has graced each member and they’re ideal outlets for believers to exercise their God-given gifts together. The biblical community that grows in small groups inspires Christ-followers to be faithful and bold in using what the Lord has deposited in them to advance His Kingdom. 

A spiritual gift is a special enablement that God gives to each believer, according to His grace, to build up the Body of Christ (Rom 12:6–8). Spiritual gifts enable us to do things with greater spiritual effectiveness because we’re not operating by our strength alone. The Lord has called us and empowered us by the Holy Spirit to share our gifts by serving others.

God’s power flows to and through a group in life-changing ways when spiritual gifts are being used in concert together. As a small group leader, you want to be sensitive to the supernatural composition of your group so as you think about how to grow and serve together, begin by asking who is in your small group rather than what you should be doing. You can facilitate three conversations to help in this discovery process.

Conversation #1: Introducing and Identifying Spiritual Gifts

  1. Introduce spiritual gifts to your group and highlight how every believer has them. Refer to 1 Corinthians 12; Romans 12:1-8; Ephesians 4:7-16; 1 Peter 4:10-11.
  2. Have everyone complete an assessment and bring their results back to share with the group. Here’s a couple of examples: https://www.freeshapetest.com/ or https://gifts.churchgrowth.org/spiritual-gifts-survey/
  3. Invite your small group to affirm how they see the spiritual gifts evident in each person who shares.
  4. Draw a circle and segment it according to the number of your church’s purposes (or core values). Brainstorm where each of your regular group practices fit under the purposes represented.
  5. Talk about how the spiritual gifts represented in the lives of your group members relate to your…
  • Church’s purposes
  • Group’s practices
  • Group fulfilling your church’s mission

Spiritual gifts help believers discover their unique capacity to serve God and effectively advance His purposes in the world. They also help small group leaders empower each group member to carry responsibilities for the group and turn its energy and focus outward, keeping it healthy. 

Conversation #2: Building Well-rounded Group Life Together

These questions can be used for a conversation on how to leverage spiritual gifts to build community within your small group and strengthen its impact:

  1. How can each group member use their God-given gifts to strengthen and enrich the group (1 Cor 12:7)?
  2. Which practices are frequent and active in our small group (Bible study, sharing meals, prayer, etc.)?
  3. Which practices are infrequent or inactive that we need to somehow incorporate in our small group life (e.g. sharing the gospel in word and deed, etc.)?
  4. What is needed to continue developing the frequent group practices and to elevate the infrequent or dormant ones?
  5. How can each one invest their spiritual gifts in our larger church family and further what the Lord is already doing?

The goal is to empower each group member to connect their gifts to a group practice that will express your church’s purposes. Consequently, biblical community will grow and your group members will be empowered to live out your church’s mission together. 

Conversation #3: Connecting Spiritual Gifts to Group Practices

One way you can empower your group members is to ask each one to champion an area of your small group life that’s in keeping with their gifts, you can approach this by…

  1. Creating a list with two columns: One for what’s needed to continue developing the frequent group practices and the other for what is needed to develop the infrequent or dormant group practices.
  2. Brainstorming with your group what an easy (baby) step could look like for one season or semester of your small group’s life together.
  3. Asking group members to pick 1-2 group practices they can picture themselves developing and to give the group a snapshot of what that looks like. Which opportunities tug at their hearts the strongest?
  4. Observing what people naturally gravitate toward and asking questions to explore their interest levels. Help people see connections between development opportunities and the deployment of their spiritual gifts in your group or your larger church family.
  5. Inviting group members to take responsibility to develop or strengthen a group practice for a season/semester of your small group life or deploy their spiritual gifts in a ministry of your church.

As individuals are faithful to use their God-given spiritual gifts to build up others, they can be entrusted with greater responsibility in stewarding an area of your small group life. This will empower them in ministry, lift the load of responsibility you’re carrying, multiply leadership development, and grow biblical community, which is transformational for everyone!

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He lives in Wellington, Florida where he serves as a Groups Pastor at Christ Fellowship. You can find more of his helpful resources at www.reidsmith.org.

Group Leadership

Small Groups are Spiritual Warfare

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by Jared Musgrove and Travis Cunningham

“Spiritual warfare has increased ever since we decided to step into leading a group.” 

We just heard this from four more newly launched group leaders. And it’s not the first time.

Why are we constantly surprised? 

Group leaders are often the most frontline ministry leaders in the local church. Of course the enemy of God targets those leading His children into a space for community with Him and one another. 

Listen, there’s nothing the enemy hates more than Christians joining together in unity. If he sees you getting along, developing friendship, experiencing healing, or even suspects that you might have a shot at this… he’s on the move. 

We won’t get knocked back in our group ministry when we realize, recognize, and expect the reality of spiritual warfare. We should pray up and prepare our leaders for it. 

We’ve come to realize that a large part of discernment is being aware of where the enemy is countering with resistance. Where are the places where it’s just not working? It just feels… off? Out of sync? Reminiscent of Babel? 

Here’s the unexpected encouragement: the enemy doesn’t attack what doesn’t concern him. If you feel attacked as a group leader or groups point person in your church, lean into the resistance. There’s a reason for it. Maybe the enemy sees potential that even you don’t. Refuse to give the good ground and ask for discernment to see his schemes against the good God has for your group. 

Instead, go on the offensive. Here are a few simple ways to keep your group from being pelted or pecked to death by the enemy of God. 

Prayer Before

A simple, yet profound way to prepare for the warfare and the work in group is to pray over the seats in living rooms or classrooms. Many times a prayer team or volunteers will do this before a service meeting on a church campus. We should do the same before our group meets. 

Your group members are likely people of habit who sit in the same general spot each time. Use this for the work and warfare. Pray for the individual who sits in each seat by name. Ask for the Lord to give you Scripture to pray for them, pray what you know, what they’ve shared, ask for God to meet them tonight in group. 

Prayer Over One Another

The enemy hates friendship or even just healthy relationships between Christians. No wonder these are so hard. The enemy’s assault on them is constant. 

So too should be our prayers over and for one another. Spend the first part of group time acknowledging the truth of the warfare in your group. Pray over and for one another. We’ve found the best method for this is to pray the One Another commands of Scripture when you meet. As you are apart, keep praying for one another and what the Lord is doing in your group. 

Prayer Afterward 

Small group is spiritual work and warfare. Pray to close the group and include a blessing over the house where it’s held. Ask that the Lord would guard and guide the souls in the groups and the homes represented. Such cleansing prayers are simple but essential to being sober-minded and vigilant (1 Peter 5:8). 

In closing, when it comes it comes to demons and darkness and the spiritual realm, we face two common dangers in regard to our small groups: 

On one side, we can attribute every problem to demons and darkness. Physical ailments, illness, injuries, depression, divorces, whatever else. It’s all demons and it’s all spiritual. And that’s not true. Sometimes a cough is a cough. And sometimes a talkative small group member is just a talkative small group member. 

On the other end, we can attribute nothing to demons and darkness. There is no spiritual realm, there are no demons, there are no operators of Satan in our world out to oppress and possess people. Again, this is not true. We will face the enemy’s head-on resistance in our efforts to lead people into community with God and one another. 

Prepare as leaders and prepare your leaders for this reality through prayer.     

—

Dr. Jared Musgrove is the Pastor for Leader Development and Groups at The Village Church in Flower Mound, TX. 

Travis Cunningham is the Lead Pastor for Preaching and Vision at StoryChurch in Rancho Cucamonga, CA.

Group Leadership

How Seeing Differently Can Impact Your Group

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Levi Lusko recently released Through the Eyes of a Lion, a six-session Bible study considering how God can use impossible pain to become a place of incredible power.

But what’s so special about the eyes of a lion? Lusko shares:

“The eyes of a lion were built to see.

They function essentially like night vision. 

First of all, there’s that white stripe that’s under each lion’s eye that functions in the exact opposite way as eye black that an athlete would wear. Eye black minimizes light coming into the eye to keep glare to a minimum while playing in the bright sun.

The white under the eye causes all available light to flood towards the black pupil of the lion’s eye—which is bigger than our pupil and can be opened wider than a pupil of a human. Lions have so many more photoreceptors, called rods, in the back of their eyes. Cones help you see color, and rods help you see shape. Lions don’t have as many cones as they do rods because they don’t need to know color; they don’t pick out their outfits based on what shade they’re going to wear. But, they do need to see shapes and silhouettes.

So, everything about the lion’s eye was built to see. 

All cats are like this. In fact, every cat, on the back of their eye, has a shiny surface that bounces light that comes in back out. Whenever you take a photograph of a cat, their eyes shine because this light is shining back out where it came in. It allows the lion, or the cat, to use any light they get twice; they use it on the way in, and they use it on the way out. So, it appears to be brighter than it actually is.

I believe that this is exactly what the Holy Spirit is capable of doing to you. 

In fact, Paul prayed for it explicitly in Ephesians 1 when he said: I pray that God would give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation that your eyes may be enlightened.

He was praying what I hope will become true of you. That you could see light through the eyes of a lion.” 

— 

What if we strove for our groups to experience this type of sight that is granted through the wisdom of Scripture as revealed through the Holy Spirit? 

Seeing through this wisdom allows us to make wiser choices and to display the fruit of the Spirit.

As you prepare to lead your group or as you seek to be a faithful and engaged group member, you can take steps towards pursuing such wise sight. Pray Scripture for those in your group as Paul did. Turn to Ephesians 1:15-23 and pray that the eyes of their hearts would be enlightened. Pray that they will know the hope to which they are called. Ask that you all will understand the immeasurable greatness of Christ’s power towards believers.

As you pray for this wise sight, your group can experience change. The way that you look at situations can be viewed through the glorious reality of the finished work of Christ. The conversations you have can be pointed heaven-toward. And the way you view your own pain and the pain of those around you can be colored with the compassion of Christ and the equipping comfort of the Holy Spirit.

To find out more about seeing with the eyes of a lion and how your pain can be transformed into power, check out Pastor Lusko’s latest Bible study here. 

Group Leadership

9 Steps to Being a Great Group Member

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By Cheri Liefeld

As ministry leaders, we spend time training our group leaders and helping them succeed. But 90% of the group is made up of group members who are not leaders. Our small groups will only be as great as the people attending and their involvement. Have you ever wondered what it takes to be a great group member? Here are nine steps to being a great group member. 

  1. Communicate. Basic communication with your leader and your group. Respond when they reach out. Engage in group texts. Let them know you will be there, and if you have to miss, please let them know. They would rather have a heads up instead of a “no-show.”

  2. Show Up. In my experience, only 1/3 of people who sign up for small groups make it to the first meeting. The others are missing out. Be the one that overcomes first-night jitters and joins. Then keep showing up. It is hard to fully experience the small group and build the relationships you desire if you attend sporadically. Fight the urge to stay home when you feel tired. Once you get there, you’ll be glad you did. Showing up is a simple key to success both in your group and your life.

  3. Listen. Show your group you value them and want to get to know them by being present and actively listening. Yes, people overshare, but haven’t we all at some point? Fight the urge to look at your phone or drift off. Remember how you feel when someone is present and engaged as you talk. Listening is one way to honor your group. This creates a safe space for people to wrestle and grow in their faith.

  4. Join the Conversation. We want to hear from you. This can be challenging for those who are shy or don’t have a friend in the group. Be courageous and share your thoughts. You have something important to contribute to the group. Nod your head, especially on Zoom groups, to show you are engaged and listening. Be willing to be vulnerable. When we can be ourselves, honestly share our struggles, and celebrate our wins, we grow closer to each other.

  5. Do the work and be prepared. We all experience busy weeks, and there will be times we don’t complete the homework. Let that be the exception, but still show up. Honor your group by being prepared, ready to engage and contribute to the discussion. It can be discouraging for a leader to ask a question and be met with silence because no one read the book or watched the video. It’s like hosting a potluck, but only one guest brings a dish. Dinner isn’t quite the same. You get out of the group as much as you are willing to contribute.

  6. Encourage others. We live in a challenging season; everyone could use a bit of encouragement. Affirm other’s contributions. Ask how they are doing. Follow up on a prior prayer request. Little acts of kindness tell others you value them, and that is how great friendships begin. Text someone in your group each week. Write a note of encouragement. Send someone money through Venmo for coffee. These gestures are contagious and will spur others on to do the same (Heb 10:24-25). You won’t regret it.

  7. Serve Your Group. Offer to bring a meal when someone is sick. Reach out if someone is absent to see if they are ok. Invite someone to coffee to hear their story. The Bible says to outdo ourselves in honoring and loving others (Rom 12:9-10) and to serve others, faithfully using our God-given gifts (1 Pet 4:10).

  8. Take Initiative. Offer to bring snacks or plan a social event for the group. Be courageous and pray at the end of the group. Ask how you can support your group leader. Offer to lead when they want to take a week off. This type of support is meaningful to your leader. When we take next steps, relationships start to grow.

  9. Pray. Take time each week to pray for your group and your leaders. Pray over their requests and for their families. Ask God to bless your group and create community among you. One of my leaders said of their group members, “I love how they pray for each other and support each other on their own. It is so beautiful to see how they have a supportive community within the group.”

Which of these resonates most with you? Which would be an area of growth for you? Try one of these steps this week and see how it impacts your group.

Cheri Liefeld is the Director of Small Groups at Eastside Community Church in Anaheim, California. She was previously Director of Women’s Ministry at Mariners Church. She is a writer and loves to gather people around the table. You can read more at adventuresinthekitchen.com.

Group Leadership

Tony Evans’ Message to the Men in Your Group

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A man is ______ .

What words come to mind when you first read that sentence? What would first come to mind for members of your small group?

A man is:

  • Leading
  • Working
  • Interceding
  • Caring
  • Providing

Yet sometimes, men can be missing. Absent. Disengaged. Disinterested.  

On the whole, our culture is confused about what it means to be a man. Notions of masculinity have, in many corners, become toxic. Perhaps now, more than ever, we need the answer to this question. Tony Evans steps into this need to help your group wrestle with masculinity in his new Bible study Kingdom Men Rising. This study speaks truth into a poorly defined and disoriented culture about the purpose and future of masculinity from a biblical perspective. 

Through this Bible study, men in your group can grapple honestly with the unique questions and circumstances they face today. It invites men deep into their own stories to reveal the true expression of masculinity—God’s intent.

Why not see for yourself?

Below is an excerpt from a “personal study” section that follows one of the study’s weekly teaching sessions. 

Three Principles of a Purpose Driven Life

Never measure God’s movement without first taking a look at your own. Far too often, God is waiting on us as men to do something before He will make His move. Whether it is Moses holding out the rod before He parts the sea, or Peter keeping his eyes on Jesus before He rescues him from the storm—God frequently waits to see how we respond in faith before He fully reveals His hand in our lives.

In the story we are studying this week found in Joshua 3:7-17, the priests had to literally “walk by faith” before they would see God move. They had to put their feet in the water prior to God parting it for all to cross. Their example reveals three important principles we should all live by as kingdom men: Listen, Obey, and Stand.

  1. Listen

The priests had been asked to dedicate themselves for the specific task at hand—stepping into the flooding Jordan River. In order to do this, they needed to focus on what God said by consecrating themselves before Him. They wouldn’t be able to hearHim if they had distractions in their lives at that time. Kingdom men need to set aside distractions in our lives as well so we can better hear God in order to understand His instructions clearly.

Ask yourself: What are you hearing from God recently? 

  1. Obey

I don’t know about you, but stepping into the water of a river in order to get that same water to go away doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Yet that is what God asked the priests to do. Obeying God as a kingdom man doesn’t always involve understanding His methods. Faith doesn’t always make sense. But it can make miracles. Be willing to obey God when He makes your part in His plan clear to you.

Ask yourself: How are you obeying based on the time you spend listening to God?

  1. Stand

In verse 17 we read that the priests had to stand their ground in order for the Israelites to pass safely. It says,

And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood

firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed

on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan

Kingdom men must never waiver when called upon to serve God. Standing in the middle of what was previously a raging river isn’t the safest place to be, from a human perspective, but God doesn’t call us to live safely, He calls us to live by faith. Sometimes that means standing strong where you are and in what you believe in so that those you love can get to where they need to go as well.

Ask yourself: Why is it better to trust in God’s power than in human limitations?

This content was excerpted and partially adapted from from Tony Evans men’s Bible study: Kingdom Men Rising.

Group Leadership

Restarting Groups (and Lawnmowers)

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Tools. I love them.

If you want to make me happy, drop me off at a home improvement store for a few hours. I can walk up and down the aisles absolutely mesmerized by the myriad options to get any job done.

I must admit that I am not much of a handyman. That’s not to say that I can’t fix things, but normally it takes me longer because I never seem to have the right tools at hand. If I have the right tools, then inevitably I cannot locate them. Most of the time, though, I find myself making a run to the big box home improvement store to buy one or two specialized tools to complete a repair job at the house. 

During this off season, my lawnmower decided to stop running. It wouldn’t start, no matter what I did. I kicked it. I ordered a tool to help me adjust a setting in the engine (I did it wrong and really messed it up).  Do I throw it away, or do I look for some help? After trying every repair trick I knew to get it to restart, I decided to find some help. I found a repair shop, and the owner tuned my 10-year-old lawnmower. He replaced the oil and the blade, changed out the air filter, and replaced my old spark plug. He reset the engine to factory specs. Now she runs like a new mower! That may be the best $99 I’ve spent in a while.  

Restarting Bible Study Groups

The church has a big job ahead of it this year. It’s time to begin the process of restarting Bible study groups for all ages. Like my old lawnmower, there is no need to toss out Sunday School (insert whatever name your church calls your Bible teaching ministry)—it probably just needs a quick tune-up. We want to be sure that our teaching ministries are running at peak efficiency. I needed some help because I lacked the right tools and know-how. When I found the right person, he solved my dilemma and now my lawnmower can provide service well into the future.

As we look at the needs of churches this year, Lifeway has developed a series of webinars to help churches of all types focus on some foundational principles. Think of this as giving you the right tools and information to help you tune up your church’s most important ministry. With a little effort, you can have it running like a top! Here is a quick look ahead at the upcoming webinars designed to help you restart your church’s teaching ministry this year (for a more complete look at these webinars, and to sign up, go to lifeway.com/restartgroups):

  • Breathing Life into Sunday School – There are 12 essentials that can help any Sunday School become healthier. Get your Sunday School off of life support and put it on the road to recovery.
  • Restarting Sunday School – During the first year of COVID, groups struggled to meet. As groups begin to regather, there are considerations for their successful relaunch.
  • How to Have all the Workers you Need – Never struggle to enlist group leaders after you learn a process for recruiting new leaders.
  • 3 Roles for Guiding Groups – Teacher, Shepherd, and Leader—every group leader must embrace these important roles and balance them to create a healthy environment for the group’s members.
  • Leading Small Groups – Learn how to gather, lead, and multiply your small group.
  • Teaching with Style – Jesus was an expert in communicating His messages. Discover the eight learning approaches and how to use them to teach engaging Bible studies each week.
  • 5 Steps for Building a Disciple–making Ministry – For over 100 years churches have used a simple formula for creating great groups and a strong disciple-making ministry. Do you know the steps to take in order to grow your Bible-teaching ministry?

This series of webinars will be offered on weekends, at night, and during the daytime. We tried our best to give you options because we know you need something flexible. 

Don’t throw out Sunday School! Use these webinars to give you the tools to make it run like a new teaching ministry. COVID has created a hard year for the church. As we restart groups this year, let’s tune up the church’s most important ministry—its Bible study groups!

 

Group Leadership

Meet Levi Lusko: Author of Through the Eyes of a Lion

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It’s here!

Through the Eyes of a Lion releases today from an author new to Lifeway Adults. This study takes us through a personal story author Levi Lusko and his family experienced and shows how we can find incredible power despite impossible pain.

But, who is Levi Lusko? This pastor, father, and leader serves in many capacities where he’s located in the northwest.

Levi answered some “get-to-know-you” questions exclusively for Lifeway Adults at the outset of this new release:

When did you first feel called into ministry or know that you wanted to be a pastor?

When I was two years old. I either wanted to be a pastor or a baker (mostly so I could eat cookies and white sugar). I didn’t pursue baking nor do I know how to bake. I always knew I was called to be a pastor since a young age.

What’s your favorite thing about your wife?

Her laugh, making her laugh, and being around her when she laughs.

What’s the most underrated Montana restaurant?

In my family, it’s Taco Del Sole.

Do you have any hidden talents or hobbies?

Do ice baths count? If not, what about saunas? If not, I like reading.

What’s your favorite spiritual discipline or habit?

Spiritual discipline: silence. Habit: tithing. 

What’s the best part of being a pastor for you?

Being there for people in the most difficult moments in their lives, and in the most happy times—weddings, funerals, and everything in between.

What’s one sentence of encouragement you would give to other pastors doing ministry in 2021?

Our ministry is the most important when it’s the most difficult. It’s difficult right now because it’s complicated, so don’t quit just because it’s hard. It’s the most necessary it’s ever been.

Find out more about Levi Lusko and his new Bible study at lifeway.com/lion.

About the study:

It’s hard to understand in the moment, but sorrow can give you perspective, purpose, and a platform. It’s called a “roar story.” And you can use it to inspire others to see the bright future beyond their darkest days. Whether you’ve suffered in the past, are in a trial now, or want to prepare for the inevitable challenges to come, this Bible study can provide help, hope, and healing, all for the glory of God.

About Levi:

Levi Lusko is the founder and lead pastor of Fresh Life Church, located in Montana, Wyoming, Oregon, and Utah. He is the bestselling author of Through the Eyes of a Lion, Swipe Right, and I Declare War. Levi also travels the world speaking about Jesus. He and his wife, Jennie, have one son, Lennox, and four daughters: Alivia, Daisy, Clover, and Lenya, who is in heaven.

 

Group Leadership

Navigating the Gray Areas with Scripture

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By Jared Musgrove

More often than not you are presented with gray situations in ministry leadership: these aren’t black and white, but somewhere in between. They aren’t clear, but seem murky. Such situations in your own leadership and the lives of God’s people whom you shepherd require hokma (wisdom) to navigate.

Here is a short consideration of ten wisdom considerations from Scripture that can help you personally and pastorally traverse an ever-changing world with God’s unchanging principles. 

Would involvement in this activity be prohibited by one or more of the Ten Commandments or violate the law of love? 

Exodus 20:1-17

Deuteronomy 5:1-21

Matthew 22:34-40

Romans 13:8-10

Can I do this thing to the glory and honor of God? 

1 Corinthians 10:31

Can I ask God’s blessing on this activity or endeavor? 

Proverbs 10:22

Would this thing be a hindering weight? 

Hebrews 12:1 

Is it of the world, the flesh, or the enemy? 

1 John 2:15-17

Ephesians 4:27

Does it honor the body as the temple of the Holy Spirit? 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Has it the appearance of evil? 

1 Thessalonians 5:22

Will it be a stumbling block to others? 

Romans 14:13, 21

1 Corinthians 8:9-13

Can I do this in faith, without doubt? 

Romans 14:22-23

Would I want to be doing this when the Lord returns? 

1 John 2:28 

Dr. Jared Musgrove is Pastor for Leader Development and Groups at The Village Church in Flower Mound, TX. 

Group Leadership

How Jesus “Turns Off the Dark”

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One thing all people have in common is a desire to be happy. God wired human beings with a desire for joy and fulfillment. Have you ever met someone who hasn’t pursued happiness? Me neither. But it doesn’t take long to realize this world is filled with pitfalls that can derail happiness. Evidence of darkness is everywhere we look, and we even see it in our own lives. Maybe it’s in the form of loneliness, fear, depression, or guilt. Deep down, we know things aren’t the way they are supposed to be, but we don’t know how to fix it. Thankfully, in His mercy, God sent light into the darkness.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. All things were created through him, and apart from him not one thing was created that has been created. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. That light shines in the darkness, and yet the darkness did not overcome it.   John 1:1-5

The opening verses in John’s Gospel are known as the prologue, and this passage is one of the most informative accounts of Jesus’ coming. Right away, the apostle John reveals that Jesus is more than a teacher or a prophet— Jesus is God (John 1:1,14), and He is the source of all light.

In Scripture, the words “light” and “life” are often referred to as the opposite of “death” and “darkness.” Metaphorically, death and darkness refer to sin and its effects on the world. Jesus came to shine light in the darkness—to turn off the dark. Since Jesus is all-powerful, He could’ve done this in any manner of His choosing. Certainly, Jesus could’ve shined His light from a distance, and it would’ve been powerful enough to reach us, but that’s not what He did. He made the choice to come to us.

The Light of Immanuel

See, the virgin will become pregnant

and give birth to a son,

and they will name him Immanuel,

which is translated “God is with us.”

Matthew 1:23

Did you catch that? Immanuel means “God with us.” Jesus entered into this dark world because He wanted to be with us. He isn’t distant or aloof. Jesus willingly took on flesh. In doing so, Jesus entered into our pain and suffering with the intention of being present with us and shining a light in the dark cracks and crevices of our lives.

Because Jesus came to earth and took on the form of a man, He can sympathize with our sins, sufferings, and weaknesses (Heb. 4:14-15). Jesus understands the hardships of being a human being, and He has compassion for us. Jesus not only understands our plight—He makes Himself entirely approachable and available to help. Consider this invitation from the Book of Hebrews.

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

The Light that Destroys Death

It’s one thing to believe that Jesus can shine light into darkness and eradicate things like loneliness, fear, despair, and guilt. But what about when we are grieving the death of a loved one? Or what if we fear death ourselves? Paul addressed this topic in a letter to Timothy, his younger understudy. Paul wrote:

Jesus Christ […] has abolished death and brought life

and immortality to light through the gospel.

2 Timothy 1:10

 

Jesus came to turn off the darkness of death by turning on the light. Hebrews 2:15 says Jesus came to “release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” The incarnation came before the resurrection—so we could live with hope and die without fear. Paul wrote:

O Death, where is your sting?

O Hades, where is your victory?

1 Corinthians 15:55

Ask yourself:

  • How does the hope we have in Jesus diminish the sting of death? 
  • How does the ability to grieve with hope make Christianity distinct? 
  • How does Jesus, through His death and resurrection, turn on the light? 
  • How can this impact how you encourage those in your group?

_____

This content has been excerpted and partially adapted from Personal Study 1 of Session 1: Turn off the Dark from Levi Lusko’s Through the Eyes of a Lion Bible study. Find out more about the study here.

Group Leadership

Tips For Leading A Couples Small Group

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Bob and Crystal were a really nice married couple who joined our small group. At the first gathering for the semester at a restaurant, Bob seemed to jell with the guys, and Crystal jumped right in with the other women in their conversations. I was excited about what this new couple would contribute to the group, but the next week I noticed when it came time for the discussion part of group, Crystal would offer her thoughts, but Bob would always keep quiet. This was the same guy who was completely comfortable talking at the restaurant the week before but now had nothing to add. As this scenario continued for the next few weeks, I also observed that if the other guys contributed to the discussion, their thoughts were mostly superficial.

Doug and Wendy were another great couple who had been a part of our small group for a couple of years. For one of our studies, we decided as a group to do one that required a bit of reading in-between group meetings. This was a new type of study for us, with most of our previous studies being based on the sermons. The first week’s discussion went well, but I noticed Doug getting quieter as the weeks went on. I finally figured out that Doug wasn’t doing any of the reading and a lot of the other guys in the group weren’t as well.

These two scenarios brought to my attention a couple of issues with couples groups:

  1. Couples groups will always struggle when it comes to being open and vulnerable. Most men will not open up in front of their spouses. They will talk about work or the game last night, but if there is a chance of vulnerability during the discussion, they yield to their wives every time.
  2. Studies that require a lot of reading or homework will not work well in a couples group. 

So, can couples groups be successful? In my twenty-plus years of experience leading them, I know they can be with a few adjustments and an intentional strategy.

Utilize the power of the subdivide.

Couples groups can be more effective if the discussion time is split into women and men subgroups. This doesn’t have to happen every week, but the group is much more likely to wrestle with the subject matter if they have opportunities to be open with others of their same gender. For complete openness, it’s important to stipulate that what is discussed in those subgroups must stay confidential. There is nothing worse than a guy opening up to the other guys and then having something he said brought up later for prayer when the group is back together. He has to know that the other guys in the group respect his openness by keeping some things confidential.

Start micro groups.

Couples groups can also be more effective when the members are connected to smaller, gender-based groups. There is openness and accountability in same-sex groups that is not achievable when discussion ensues in a mixed-gender group. Here are three reasons to cultivate same-gender micro groups:

  1. We need natural places to find godly examples and mentors to follow. The best space for those relationships to organically develop is in a micro group.
  2. Transformation can only occur alongside accountability. For real change to take place in a man’s life, he needs a group of brothers to hold him accountable to those changes. He can too easily hide behind his wife in a married couples group.
  3. Same gender groups can be intergenerational. Most small groups are divided by stage of life or location demographics. We have young couples groups, married-without-kids groups, empty nester groups, and so on. While these groups are important, we are missing something critical when we do not have the influence that older and younger generations can provide. 

Choose the right kind of study.

In 2016, the Pew Research Center survey of adult reading habits concluded that “women are more likely than men to read books,” and noted that 32% of men (versus only 23% of women) surveyed said that they hadn’t read a single book in the past year.1

Knowing that research shows that men read a lot less than women should help us when it comes to choosing a study for a couples group. For example, look for studies that don’t have a lot of homework outside of the group time; however, a guided daily devotional component, like what is in the “Daily Discipleship Guide,” can be important for individual spiritual growth and for content in the micro groups.

It’s also important to have a balanced curriculum plan that encourages spiritual next steps while also addressing felt needs for men and women. You can find an example of one here.

Leading couples’ small groups can be frustrating at times but also extremely rewarding when utilizing an intentional strategy of subdividing, forming micro groups, and choosing the right studies.

This post appeared originally at lifewaywomen.com.

CHRIS SURRATT (@ChrisSurratt) is the discipleship and small groups specialist for Lifeway Christian Resources, a ministry consultant and coach with more than 20 years of experience, and the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group. He is also a co-host of the weekly podcast, Group Answers.

 

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