Leadership

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris kick off a new podcast series, Tips for Leaders, with tips on leading couples groups.

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April 6, 2021

Tony Evans’ Message to the Men in Your Group

By Deborah Spooner

A man is ______ .

What words come to mind when you first read that sentence? What would first come to mind for members of your small group?

A man is:

Leading
Working
Interceding
Caring
Providing

Yet sometimes, men can be missing. Absent. Disengaged. Disinterested.

On the whole, our culture is confused about what it means to be a man. Notions of masculinity have, in many corners, become toxic. Perhaps now, more than ever, we need the answer to this question. Tony Evans steps into this need to help your group wrestle with masculinity in his new Bible study Kingdom Men Rising. This study speaks truth into a poorly defined and disoriented culture about the purpose and future of masculinity from a biblical perspective.

Through this Bible study, men in your group can grapple honestly with the unique questions and circumstances they face today. It invites men deep into their own stories to reveal the true expression of masculinity—God’s intent.

Why not see for yourself?

Below is an excerpt from a “personal study” section that follows one of the study’s weekly teaching sessions.

Three Principles of a Purpose Driven Life

Never measure God’s movement without first taking a look at your own. Far too often, God is waiting on us as men to do something before He will make His move. Whether it is Moses holding out the rod before He parts the sea, or Peter keeping his eyes on Jesus before He rescues him from the storm—God frequently waits to see how we respond in faith before He fully reveals His hand in our lives.

In the story we are studying this week found in Joshua 3:7-17, the priests had to literally “walk by faith” before they would see God move. They had to put their feet in the water prior to God parting it for all to cross. Their example reveals three important principles we should all live by as kingdom men: Listen, Obey, and Stand.

Listen

The priests had been asked to dedicate themselves for the specific task at hand—stepping into the flooding Jordan River. In order to do this, they needed to focus on what God said by consecrating themselves before Him. They wouldn’t be able to hearHim if they had distractions in their lives at that time. Kingdom men need to set aside distractions in our lives as well so we can better hear God in order to understand His instructions clearly.

Ask yourself: What are you hearing from God recently?

Obey

I don’t know about you, but stepping into the water of a river in order to get that same water to go away doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Yet that is what God asked the priests to do. Obeying God as a kingdom man doesn’t always involve understanding His methods. Faith doesn’t always make sense. But it can make miracles. Be willing to obey God when He makes your part in His plan clear to you.

Ask yourself: How are you obeying based on the time you spend listening to God?

Stand

In verse 17 we read that the priests had to stand their ground in order for the Israelites to pass safely. It says,

And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood

firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed

on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan

Kingdom men must never waiver when called upon to serve God. Standing in the middle of what was previously a raging river isn’t the safest place to be, from a human perspective, but God doesn’t call us to live safely, He calls us to live by faith. Sometimes that means standing strong where you are and in what you believe in so that those you love can get to where they need to go as well.

Ask yourself: Why is it better to trust in God’s power than in human limitations?

This content was excerpted and partially adapted from from Tony Evans men’s Bible study: Kingdom Men Rising.

March 30, 2021

Navigating the Gray Areas with Scripture

By Jared Musgrove

More often than not you are presented with gray situations in ministry leadership: these aren’t black and white, but somewhere in between. They aren’t clear, but seem murky. Such situations in your own leadership and the lives of God’s people whom you shepherd require hokma (wisdom) to navigate.

Here is a short consideration of ten wisdom considerations from Scripture that can help you personally and pastorally traverse an ever-changing world with God’s unchanging principles.

Would involvement in this activity be prohibited by one or more of the Ten Commandments or violate the law of love?

Exodus 20:1-17

Deuteronomy 5:1-21

Matthew 22:34-40

Romans 13:8-10

Can I do this thing to the glory and honor of God?

1 Corinthians 10:31

Can I ask God’s blessing on this activity or endeavor?

Proverbs 10:22

Would this thing be a hindering weight?

Hebrews 12:1

Is it of the world, the flesh, or the enemy?

1 John 2:15-17

Ephesians 4:27

Does it honor the body as the temple of the Holy Spirit?

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Has it the appearance of evil?

1 Thessalonians 5:22

Will it be a stumbling block to others?

Romans 14:13, 21

1 Corinthians 8:9-13

Can I do this in faith, without doubt?

Romans 14:22-23

Would I want to be doing this when the Lord returns?

1 John 2:28

Dr. Jared Musgrove is Pastor for Leader Development and Groups at The Village Church in Flower Mound, TX.

March 25, 2021

Tips For Leading A Couples Small Group

Bob and Crystal were a really nice married couple who joined our small group. At the first gathering for the semester at a restaurant, Bob seemed to jell with the guys, and Crystal jumped right in with the other women in their conversations. I was excited about what this new couple would contribute to the group, but the next week I noticed when it came time for the discussion part of group, Crystal would offer her thoughts, but Bob would always keep quiet. This was the same guy who was completely comfortable talking at the restaurant the week before but now had nothing to add. As this scenario continued for the next few weeks, I also observed that if the other guys contributed to the discussion, their thoughts were mostly superficial.

Doug and Wendy were another great couple who had been a part of our small group for a couple of years. For one of our studies, we decided as a group to do one that required a bit of reading in-between group meetings. This was a new type of study for us, with most of our previous studies being based on the sermons. The first week’s discussion went well, but I noticed Doug getting quieter as the weeks went on. I finally figured out that Doug wasn’t doing any of the reading and a lot of the other guys in the group weren’t as well.

These two scenarios brought to my attention a couple of issues with couples groups:

Couples groups will always struggle when it comes to being open and vulnerable. Most men will not open up in front of their spouses. They will talk about work or the game last night, but if there is a chance of vulnerability during the discussion, they yield to their wives every time.
Studies that require a lot of reading or homework will not work well in a couples group.

So, can couples groups be successful? In my twenty-plus years of experience leading them, I know they can be with a few adjustments and an intentional strategy.

Utilize the power of the subdivide.

Couples groups can be more effective if the discussion time is split into women and men subgroups. This doesn’t have to happen every week, but the group is much more likely to wrestle with the subject matter if they have opportunities to be open with others of their same gender. For complete openness, it’s important to stipulate that what is discussed in those subgroups must stay confidential. There is nothing worse than a guy opening up to the other guys and then having something he said brought up later for prayer when the group is back together. He has to know that the other guys in the group respect his openness by keeping some things confidential.

Start micro groups.

Couples groups can also be more effective when the members are connected to smaller, gender-based groups. There is openness and accountability in same-sex groups that is not achievable when discussion ensues in a mixed-gender group. Here are three reasons to cultivate same-gender micro groups:

We need natural places to find godly examples and mentors to follow. The best space for those relationships to organically develop is in a micro group.
Transformation can only occur alongside accountability. For real change to take place in a man’s life, he needs a group of brothers to hold him accountable to those changes. He can too easily hide behind his wife in a married couples group.
Same gender groups can be intergenerational. Most small groups are divided by stage of life or location demographics. We have young couples groups, married-without-kids groups, empty nester groups, and so on. While these groups are important, we are missing something critical when we do not have the influence that older and younger generations can provide.

Choose the right kind of study.

In 2016, the Pew Research Center survey of adult reading habits concluded that “women are more likely than men to read books,” and noted that 32% of men (versus only 23% of women) surveyed said that they hadn’t read a single book in the past year.1

Knowing that research shows that men read a lot less than women should help us when it comes to choosing a study for a couples group. For example, look for studies that don’t have a lot of homework outside of the group time; however, a guided daily devotional component, like what is in the “Daily Discipleship Guide,” can be important for individual spiritual growth and for content in the micro groups.

It’s also important to have a balanced curriculum plan that encourages spiritual next steps while also addressing felt needs for men and women. You can find an example of one here.

Leading couples’ small groups can be frustrating at times but also extremely rewarding when utilizing an intentional strategy of subdividing, forming micro groups, and choosing the right studies.

This post appeared originally at lifewaywomen.com.

CHRIS SURRATT (@ChrisSurratt) is the discipleship and small groups specialist for Lifeway Christian Resources, a ministry consultant and coach with more than 20 years of experience, and the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group. He is also a co-host of the weekly podcast, Group Answers.

Group Answers Podcast

March 24, 2021

Group Answers Episode 197: Avoiding a Rough Reentry for Your Group

Restarting Groups Webinars

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian, Chris, and Brandon talk about how to successfully restart your small group after COVID.

Resources:

The Group Answers Podcast is a weekly show designed to resource, train, and encourage small group leaders. Each episode considers current trends and resources as well as timeless truths and methods of discipleship. It is hosted by Brian Daniel, a Bible study and discipleship expert in Lifeway’s Groups Ministry, and Chris Surratt, the small group and discipleship specialist at Lifeway and author of Leading Small Groups.

Group Answers Podcast

March 17, 2021

Group Answers Episode 196: Leading Your Group Through Seasons of Grief

Yet: Embracing God’s Faithfulness in the Midst of Grief

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On this episode of Group Answers, Brian and Chris talk to Tyler Quillet about how lead your group well during seasons of grief.

Resources:

Blog Post

March 16, 2021

Building Relational Ministry Teams

By Reid Smith

How much thought do you give to the relational dynamic of your ministry teams? It is worth taking the time to help your church’s ministry teams function more like small groups because healthy ministry flows from healthy relationships. By adding some intentionality to building community among people who serve together, leaders will see powerful outcomes they want everyone on the team to experience. Members of relational ministry teams…

Are naturally motivated to invite others to serve alongside them
Feel a deeper sense of belonging and purpose
Are more inclined to remain committed to serving
Ooze more joy while serving, resulting in greater impact together

So how can a team experience more of the life-giving dynamic we see in Acts 2:42-47 and have an even greater ministry impact?

Appoint somebody on the team to compile everyone’s contact info and then distribute to the members on that team. Consider setting up a group on WhatsApp, GroupMe, or Facebook so people can stay in touch between times of serving together.
Pray together for one another before your ministry task. Prayer knits people together and makes the combined effect of their service even greater. Again, you can appoint somebody on the team to help champion this.
Periodically host a social gathering (e.g. 3-4x/year). Prioritize having fun together because that goes a long way when times of need or hardship arise. Find ways to spontaneously express appreciation.
Find out birthdays and anniversaries (in marriage and ministry) and celebrate them with your team by gifting that person/people one of their favorite treats. Your communications person (see first point) or someone else on your team can help look after this.
Stand together, facing outward. Help one another think and operate evangelistically. This can happen by praying for the lost each week, welcoming others on the team, engaging in a local service opportunity together a couple times a year, etc.

Team members who experience community while serving together are more likely to catch the vision of small groups in your church and be champions of serving within them. Taking the steps above will help your teams function more like small groups so that everyone can experience the joy that comes with fulfilling the church’s mission together!

Reid Smith has been equipping leaders in churches of all sizes and stages of growth for effective disciple-making since 1996. He lives in Wellington, Florida where he serves as a Groups Pastor at Christ Fellowship. You can find more of his helpful resources at www.reidsmith.org.

March 2, 2021

Eight Keys for Building a Community Culture

By Reid Smith

Culture is something you feel. Every group of people and organization has a distinct culture. It’s the water in which you swim when you’re hanging out in an environment or with a group of people. It’s what you experience through all your senses when you are gathered with others who are a part of it.

For example, you are experiencing more than just coffee when you sit inside a Starbucks. There is a culture that has been intentionally and artistically created to entice customers to return and build brand loyalty. Although our motivations differ, church leadership want people to return and consistently engage in their community life for infinitely more important reasons.

Pastors love it when people say their church feels like family. It’s always a win when folks say they feel like they belong and enjoy connecting with others each week. However, most leaders are not conscious about all the factors that make it that way. The DNA of culture must be deliberately molded, and just like a potter with clay, it is best to do this at the very beginning of a new work.

Regardless of where you would consider yourself in building a community culture in your church, here are eight keys I’ve discovered along the way that will help in this process:

Discern God’s plan for building community in your church and reaching your surrounding community with the power of the Good News. It’s safe to assume the Lord is already at work building His Church where you minister and your primary job is to figure out how that’s happening. Invariably, this will be through a community of two or more people pursuing Christ together. So how is God already moving in your midst to reach the lost?
Decide together with your core leadership team how everyone will prioritize community and relationship-building. How will each one live it and lead it? The involvement of pastoral leadership in a church’s community life is the linchpin to the ongoing growth of biblical community. There is no substitute for what the most influential and visible people in the church model and advocate, particularly on the weekend.
Don’t allow groups to be viewed as simply another ministry program/department of the church or to be perceived as something that “good Christians” do. A programmatic paradigm can be lethal to organic community. It is not groups that we’re after ultimately…it’s what happens in them. Biblical community empowers believers and churches to function as the Body of Christ should (Rom 12:4-5; 1 Cor 12:21-27).
Dedicate resources to building community. Invest time, energy, and money into the leaders and resources that serve as the life-source of community in your church. By virtue of resourcing this area of your church, you will be enhancing all areas. There is no short-cut to healthy ministry, which flows out of healthy relationships.
Discover who is gifted in communications and beat the drum of community every chance you get. You want to show and tell people what you believe about the importance of biblical community to their spiritual growth and well being. Use all forms of communication: platform, print, digital, visual, and stories to convey what God is doing through the community-life of your church.
Design a community-life calendar and include no less than three church-wide opportunities per year for people to get plugged in. Present new ways for people to get connected in new types of groups. Feature existing groups and new group start ups in your weekend announcements, website, social media platforms, slides, etc.
Determine that every event you host or program you run will be used as an opportunity to help people take their next step toward greater engagement in your church’s community life. Churches tend to pour a lot of time and energy into planning events while the next steps for people to take is an afterthought. Flip this. When events are built around a clear next step, more people are inspired to actually do something and you’ll see measurable fruit from your organized activities.
Devote yourself to building a community culture. The journey will be filled with successes and set-backs, but stay with it! Study churches that do this well and read books by leaders you respect who are community-building champions. Attend groups conferences in-person or online and include other staff and key volunteers. In other words, be a learner and bring others along with you. Never settle.

This is all worth doing wholeheartedly because healthy spiritual relationships are essential to having a growing relationship with Jesus Christ (Hebrews 10:24-25; 1 John 1:7, 3:14, 4:20). Furthermore, when spiritually lost people come to a loving community, they tend to come to Christ (Acts 2:47; John 13:34; 1 John 4:12). Building a community culture is not optional for a church that wants to advance God’s mission in the world and these keys will help you and your team in the process.

Church Leadership

February 23, 2021

How to Identify and Empower New Small Group Leaders