Unhappiest Woman in America

A few months ago, I had an informational meeting with some new people at a little coffee shop in our small town. After I got my coffee, I walked over toward two women sitting at a table in the corner and asked if they were there for the same meeting. They replied with a quick “yes” and then continued their conversation, completely ignoring me.

Unsure if I was interrupting them, I pulled one of the other chairs at the table away from them and sat down, as if the space would create some type of emotional barrier between us. It didn’t work, but at least I tried.

Getting more and more insecure by the moment, I tried to grasp what they were talking about so I could jump into the conversation. They mentioned a name that was familiar to me, so I jumped in, “Oh, I know her!”

They both gave me the strangest looks. Then one of them replied in a rather snobbish tone, “Her, is a him.”

Ahem. Blush.

Obviously, I stopped trying to figure out who they were talking about and just sat quietly, feeling like a complete fool.

In the midst of the awkwardness, I was reminded of how important it is to know the context of a situation. We can’t always just jump into conversations assuming we know what’s going on.

Which is also true about studying the Bible. Sure, there are no Bible-reading rules saying we can’t open our Bibles, read a verse in one book, and then jump to a verse in another book.

But taking the time to understand what’s happening where we pick up in the story, understanding who is who, and studying a story inside and out is valuable. It’s important so that we don’t miss out on what’s really happening.

God doesn’t require you to have a ton of previous knowledge about the Scripture passage you’re studying. Jumping into the middle of a story is fine. But, usually we gain a deeper understanding of the story by learning more of the background. God is the best teacher—always welcoming our questions, our curiosities, and even our doubts. There’s never a snobby response back from Him if we get something wrong or don’t understand things. But, when we understand the whole picture of what we’re studying, we gain amazing insight.

I want to talk about your journey and share a little more about mine. For way too long comparison stole so much from me. It made me miss out on the special, unique, and incredible plans God had for my life. It kept me looking to the left and to the right, missing what was right in front of me. I was miserable in my lane of life. And my license plate could have read, Unhappiest Woman in America.

I have a feeling you’ve had a moment or two like this in your life, too. Because no matter how confident the woman, at some point she’s been compared to someone else, and she’s done the comparing. None of us are given a pass on this struggle. I’ve discovered most of us women love to shout our successes, but we seldom speak of our sorrows.

And battling comparison, unlike wanting to quit, being disorganized, or not having it all together, is a struggle we rarely admit.

Maybe you’ve not allowed yourself to admit the struggle of comparison in your life. Or maybe you’re so fed up with this struggle you are ready to suffocate it.

But we’re here. Together. Ready to do the best we can do to combat this comparison compromise.

By the end of this study, I want you to have a greater understanding of what God thinks of you. When we shift our minds to resting in what God says and thinks about us, we’ll shift our thinking and words about ourselves.

This was an excerpt from Rachel & Leah by Nicki Koziarz—Week One, Day One. Through six sessions, you can arm yourself with biblical truths to combat comparison by studying the account of Rachel and Leah. Find out more here.