In no particular order:
- Take the truth for granted. Everybody believes it already anyway.
- Compromise under pressure. Nothing worth believing in should cost you very much.
- Make every decision you can that appeals to or appeases the biggest donors. They do, after all, feed your family.
- Elevate your earthly citizenship over your heavenly one. The gospel is most useful when it aligns with and lends support to your political preferences.
- Follow your heart. Nothing is more trustworthy than what you ultimately feel to be true.
- Do what you must in order to have as many people like you as possible. God works most effectively through powerful and popular personalities.
- Vacillate as often as you can between legalism and licensure. Require more of your people than the Bible does on some issues, and less on others. Keeping them guessing will keep them dependent on you for answers.
- Pray only as a last resort. God doesn’t want your congregation to think you’re weak or dependent.
- Birds of a feather flock together. Church diversity is for the birds.
- The character of your lay leaders is far less important than their skills.
Rob Tims has been married to Holly for nearly 15 years. They have four children: Trey (10), Jonathan (9), Abby (1), and Luke (born April 10). He has served in the local church for 20 years as a children’s pastor, student pastor, and senior pastor. He currently serves on a team at Lifeway Christian Resources that develops customized Bible studies for groups and teaches two classes for Liberty University School of Divinity Online. He is the author of the book Southern Fried Faith: Confusing Christ and Culture in the Bible Belt.